Hello Fall…..already?

This fall is momentous for me…….. twins entering kindergarden, oldest entering college- ever feel like the last one at the party? With all the babies gone,  I try to console myself with the notion that even though fall is the inevitable end of summer- it is also the time of the harvest.  The fruit you harvest in parenting is bittersweet- all that work just to teach them to leave you?  Here are my “deep thoughts” …….. pass the tissues, will you?

I have, in some way

always carried you

first in my mind

barely an ounce felt

until the heft of you grew

and pushed out the lighter thoughts

and you became too heavy

to ignore

Realized you began

everything working

with ancient

intended purpose

becoming more with each day

your weight announcing your presence

every breath taken

together as one

Then like a hallelujah

you came

strength marshaled

my arms become hammocks

though separated we move

in symphony

traveling through our days

in tandem

Crawling, walking, running

you maneuver

in the safety of my orbit

I stand ready for the moment

when you flag

secretly rejoicing in your need

for me to carry you

once more

Now I am attendant

Ready

a loving transport shouldering the many bags that contain

who you are at that moment

Yet I am unprepared

for need to become random

Astonished I watch you grow up

and grow away

I let you go

bearing you no more

in my body

in my arms

Or on my hip where phantom weight still rests

Traveling freely

I can carry you only with great tenderness

in my heart